Bah Humbug To The NBA

Chris Paul recently joined the Clippers in a trade that basically sucked the
life out of the New Orleans Hornets. The Paul trade is just one of many
reasons I am locking out the NBA from my TV set this Christmas.

The NBA season begins on Christmas, and to be honest, I could not care less.

It isn't that I don't like the NBA — or basketball for that matter. I used to be a huge fan, but this past offseason as been more of a put-off than a turn-on.

Don't take it personal, NBA fans. It's nothing you did. If you had to blame someone, blame the greedy players and owners who couldn't settle things like civilized human beings. Instead, they both wanted everything without giving up anything — proving that there was no bargaining in the bargaining agreement.

The previous lockout left fans with a sour taste in their mouth, but this lockout seemed slightly worse. Perhaps it was the NBA trying to rush through a half-hearted attempt at a preseason to make sure that they don't lose the TV revenue on Christmas. Or maybe it was the league's rejection of a trade that would have sent Chris Paul to the Lakers after allowing LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to all sign with the Heat a year ago.

Paul eventually found his way to Los Angeles, by way of joining the Clippers. Understandably, the Clippers have need help for years — looking more like an NBA D-League team than an actual competitor. But was allowing Paul to join forces with Blake Griffin really the answer?

The trade has turned one mediocre team into a contender, but it sucked the life out of another city with a history of heartbreak. New Orleans has already lost one team, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Hornets don't find a new home in the coming years.

So while many fans will watch the full slate of games to begin on Christmas, I will spend my day with the family waiting for the NFL game to start. And as for the NBA's owners and players, they can expect a lump of coal in their stockings.

What's In A Name?

Ron Artest has done a lot of crazy things during his time,
including a few wacky haircuts. But under the new name
Metta World Peace he is currently in a dogfight with Chad
Ochocinco for world's craziest athlete.

It appears the search for the world's craziest athlete has turned into a two-horse race – and Charlie Sheen isn't included, despite using steroids during the filming of "Major League".

That's right, following the example of one Chad Ochocinco, the artist formerly known as Ron Artest upped the ante by changing his entire name. Instead of being known as Ron Unocinco (for one-five in Spanish), he has changed his name to Metta World Peace – pretty ironic for a guy who once climbed into the stands in Detroit after a Diet Coke was flung at him.

When the announcement came last week, sports broadcasters and writers across the nation cringed at the thought of using him in their stories. Can you just imagine hearing "Peace for three," while watching a Laker game on TV? Or how about Laker public address announcer Lawrence Tanter introducing him as "Mettaaaa Woooorld Peeeeeeeace"? It's about to get ugly in Tinsel Town, folks.

Not to be outdone, Chad Ochocinco isn't giving up the crown just yet to Peace (see, even here that looks bad). The troubled Bengals' star has been in the new more times this summer during the lockout than he has for his on-the-field antics during any regular season.

From trying out for MLS to bull riding, Ochocinco is slowly crossing off his bucket list during his free time. He even took a couple of laps around the Atlanta Motor Speedway with Jeff Burton, going 150 miles per hour. My guess is that a couple of cars in his garage can top that.

But while being a NASCAR driver may not be in Ochocinco's future – as he was quoted in saying "I'd lose every damn day" – the tour will go on. Next up for the eccentric wide receiver? Rumor has it he will be wrestling with an alligator – because that's exactly what the Bengals want to hear.

Your move Mr. Peace – or is it Mr. World Peace?